Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Fact from fiction

I'm doing some hardcore kissing
In a book
Using a mouth
I've never tasted
Such sweetness
Dripping from a
Life long line
Of semaphoring
Victims
Running on
Into streams
Of conscious
Swallowing
That leitmotif of
Heartbreak
Over and over
In the sentences
That demand years
From your life
Although culpable
Of the slightly
Trite
Phrases
That can make some cry
But make me
Laugh
At how easy it is
To word up and twist up
A story into
Something believable
As it rolls off of the tongue
Slipped gently into
Your mouth


Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Still

Do you pretend to still know me
In a song
In a room
In a time
In a space
There exists
A girl
Will you find her
Five years, ten years, five minutes from now
The same
Energized by words, sipping vodka, wide-eyed and thirsty, looking a little lost, loving being lost...
Daydreaming about adventures
She's not taking
even now
even though
She's still unknown

Saturday, July 19, 2014

Exactly...

"I want to live simply. I want to sit by the window when it rains and read books I'll never be tested on. I want to paint because I want to, not because I have something to prove. I want to listen to my body, fall asleep when the moon is high and wake up slowly, with no place to rush off to. I want not to be governed by money or clocks or any of the artificial restraints that humanity imposes on itself. I just want to be boundless and infinite."
               -Anonymous
 

Monday, July 14, 2014

Books and their hooks

I've started to queue some books to read.. I just re-read The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood. I read it years ago, long enough to want to read it again. I'm kind of into dystopian fiction.. Now I'm reading her series Oryx and Crake.
Here are some I want to work my way through in the near future:

1.The Dharma Bums - Jack Kerouac

"I felt like lying down by the side of the trail and remembering it all. The woods do that to you, they always look familiar, long lost, like the face of a long-dead relative, like an old dream, like a piece of forgotten song drifting across the water, most of all like golden eternities of past childhood or past manhood and all the living and the dying and the heartbreak that went on a million years ago and the clouds as they pass overhead seem to testify (by their own lonesome familiarity) to this feeling."

2. Nineteen Eighty-Four - George Orwell
"Perhaps a lunatic is just a minority of one."

3.The Sun Also Rises - Ernest Hemingway
"This is a good place," he said. "There's a lot of liquor," I agreed.

4. If on a Winter's Night a Traveller - Italo Calvino
"If one wanted to depict the whole thing graphically, every episode, with its climax, would require a three-dimensional, or, rather, no model: every experience is unrepeatable. What makes lovemaking and reading resemble each other most is that within both of them times and spaces open, different from measurable time and space."

5. Money - Martin Armis
"when the sky is as grey as this - impeccably grey, a denial, really of the very concept of colour - and the stooped millions lift their heads, it's hard to tell the air from the impurities in our human eyes, as if the sinking climbing paisley curlicues of grit were part of the element itself, rain, spores, tears, film, dirt. Perhaps, at such moments, the sky is no more then the sum of the dirt that lives in our human eyes."

6. The Dice Man - Luke Rhinehart
"But we must come to realise that every word is perfect, including those we scratch out. As my pen moves across this page the whole world writes. All of human history combines at this mere moment now to produce in the flow of this hand a single dot: Who are you and I, dear friends, to contradict the whole past of the universe? Let us then in our wisdom say yes to the flow of the pen."



A wish

I'm aware that most skim the surface of another. There is some penetration into the penetrable parts.. But even that is just a weak example of the exploration into the depth and breadth of a human. Maybe most are satisfied there. Staying right there. Leaving their innermost, ugly, raw, exposed selves buried deep beneath that surface, that thin layer of humanness covered in colors that don't quite look real. 

I feel a great need for someone to reach right into that depth and see it all, taste it all, know it all and sit back with great ease, smiling unapologetically. 

The next book I'll read.. All because of this quote

"But we must come to realise that every word is perfect, including those we scratch out. As my pen moves across this page the whole world writes. All of human history combines at this mere moment now to produce in the flow of this hand a single dot: Who are you and I, dear friends, to contradict the whole past of the universe? Let us then in our wisdom say yes to the flow of the pen."

Luke Rhinehart, The Dice Man 

Monday, July 7, 2014

Red

I have to let go
running past the past
until my heart looks as red as a sunset raking
blood across the sky
and beats as loud as a scream
building up to be set free after years of
never being heard


Give me a long goodbye
the embrace,
the tears,
the promises
of seeing
me again
so soon
so very soon


And the leaving
make it last forever
each step
pounding
resolute
against my skin
prickling
each nerve
flooding me with
knowing
forever only lasts as long as it takes
to walk away


I will
drive off the cliff of longing
until I can hear my own voice again
steady and familiar
needing nothing
nothing
needing
me